The impact of long-distance on romantic relationships essay
Happiness in relations, ability to love and to be loved, positive emotions, brought by these relations are the key moving factors in everybody’s life. Even if some of us do not admit it, we are all looking for close relations, for happiness in love, for spiritual and moral satisfaction. However the butterflies in the stomach, the nervous waiting for his or her phone call, even mutual interest and deep feelings do not guarantee that the happiness would last for ever. The main problem is that any relationship needs huge investments – investments of trust, support understanding, time, effort and so on. The situation is sometimes getting harder, when two individuals are not living in the same town or even country. Long time ago, people were able to build romantic relationships only inside their location. Only the invention of various types of transportation and communication made long-distance romance possible. On the one hand, the brightest horizons are open for partners, on the other hand – a number of questions and problems arise: does such kind of relationship have any future? Is my partner really sincere and devoted? Is it worth all those waiting and travelling? And so on. It is not easy to answer all these questions unambiguously, however we will look for the arguments, proving, that couples, which are bond by long-distance romantic relationship have all the best chances to develop a serious, strong, perspective relations, by working harder on building mutual trust, care, love and commitment.
As we have already mentioned, along with development of transportation means as well as communication services, more and more people are inclined to develop long-distance relationships. The very start of such communication is very much alike the usual meeting of the two persons, sharing some information about each other, getting to know each other better and so on. But there is an advantage, which non-local people are able to use – they can build their relationship more slowly, there are more possibilities to think over the level of relationship each of partners wants to develop.
Opponents of long-distance relations usually underline the problem of feeling of loneliness. On the one hand a person is involved into relationship, on the other hand, his or her close person is not constantly nearby and as a result the feeling of anxiety, frustration is putting a great pressure. In reality, there are a lot of local relationships, in which people experience all the same things, for example because of work one or both of the partners have to travel a lot, or in most military families, where men are to follow the orders, they receive and often can not spend as much time with their families, as they would like to. The problem is actually the same, thus the solution is also alike – not to put your life on hold. It means, that a person should not concentrate on his feeling of loneliness, should stop feeling pity and sorry about himself and the situation, rather on the contrary, should do the things, which are interesting to him or to her, which would bring satisfaction, which would contribute to their personal, spiritual, intellectual, physical development. A hobby or a combination of hobby and work would be the best variants. Under no circumstances should a person remain in isolation from family members, from friends and colleagues. All these kinds of social ties can make an important contribution to avoiding the atmosphere of loneliness or abandonment. Besides, successful and self-sufficient individuals are much more attractive to their partners, than depressed and unhappy ones.
Another serious problem of long-distance relationships might be discrepancy in expectations about the attitudes of the partner, about the relationship itself, about future plans or even some minor everyday details. Again, for some partners, living locally close to each other it is also difficult to overcome the obstacles in sincere communication with each other. The fact is that only via communication, which is open and built on mutual respect, it is possible to avoid misunderstanding, disappointment and emotional hurts. Even if it is necessary to discuss the most difficult question, whether to save or to end the relationship, it is always better to open your cards and be absolutely honest. Rather often, the problems arise, when one partner puts all his or her effort into building the relationship and the second one is just accepting this effort. This is also a good theme for open and clear discussion.
It is not a secret, that there is a huge amount of couples, suffering or even losing their relationships because of jealousy. The temperament of each individual might be absolutely different from the partner’s. Somebody would not even react on a late telephone call, the partner receives, and other person would have to know for sure who is calling and why, to be convinced, that there is no betraying. For a jealous person, the long distance would only worsen the situation, as there is no chance to keep all the things under constant control and observation; as a result bad pictures are drawn in the consciousness and thoughts. In most cases luckily, the situations appearing in people’s minds are far from reality, whereas in reality nothing bad is happening. Thus for those jealous individuals, who really are inclined to continue the relationship, not spoiling it with groundless suspicions and quarrels, it is necessary to make order in their brain and souls, irrespective of the actual distance from the partner, because constant jealousy is able to destroy the deepest feeling and the closest attachment.
Now, when we seem to have discussed all the possible negative things, which are able to ruin the relationships, both usual and long-distance, we should briefly mention the things, which are able to contribute to positive development of the relations. Even if you are far from your partner, fortunately this doesn’t mean that there is little chance to communicate more often and to make nice unexpected surprises. A bunch of flowers in the morning or after a hard working day, even if it was sent in an attachment to your email, is able to brighten the day for your beloved woman. A mobile message, sent during the busy day, is able to relax, if there are words of love and care inside. Certainly these are only some examples, in reality there is a great number of things, which could be done to keep the romance alive.
Overall, we have tried to prove, that the key to a successful and happy relationships is not in the fact how long the distance is, but rather in the ability of the partners to communicate, to develop mutual respect and care, to support each other and their romantic relations.
Long Distance Relationships Essay
2369 WordsJun 4th, 200610 Pages
Long Distance Relationships:
Can They Work?
Two clichés: Absence makes the heart grow fonder and Out of sight, out of mind. Which one of these two conflicting views is closer to the reality? As it turns out, it does not really matter that much since long distance relationships (LDR) suffer from exactly the same strengths and weaknesses as proximal relationships. Whether two people are going to have fulfilling relationship does not only depend on their geographical closeness. What matters is quality, not quantity. According to one expert on LDRs, "the majority of studies that have been done show no greater risk of an LDR breaking up than any other relationship (Guldner, 2004, p. 6)." An LDR relationship has the same likelihood of…show more content…
I approached him: he immediately remembered me and we spend next few hours engaged in conversation discovering that we share similar opinions on many issues. Before I could even recover from the initial shock of seeing him again, he asked me to go out for a walk with him the next day. I agreed and that was the beginning of our relationship. He had been divorced for ten years and had made a decision to never marry again. I had normally dated men closer to my age (in one case even younger than me) and would have never contemplated dating (much less marry) somebody 21 years older then me. However, the unlikely happened to both of us. A few months after our first date we got married. Today, five years later, we have two beautiful children and have been living in a long distance marriage for three and a half years. It is definitely not easy for us to maintain a successful marriage being an ocean apart. Our relationship, as any other, has its strengths and its weaknesses. What I find the most important is the constant feeling of strong commitment, warmth and mutual emotional dependability. These feelings compensate for the lack of one extremely important ingredient: good communication. Intimacy requires that partners are able to talk about anything and to feel understood by the loved one. It became apparent during our marriage that neither of us have solid communication skills.